Chapter 2 - Tu Migele Mogacho

“So I didn’t put you off. “ He said as he pulled me in to his arms.

“So this is what they call vicarage?” I was checking out his place. It was tastefully decorated, bright and smelt gorgeous. Clearly he was the man of tastes. He meticulously took care of everything. Immaculately clean and attended each and every finer details of housekeeping. I felt embarrassment remembering the sad state of my apartment during our last encounter.

“What do you think?” he asked me.

“Clearly you are well off.”

“Church pays for everything. I get reimbursed. I get some stipend.” He was smiling. He has this crooked lower lip pursing fold when he smiles. Almost like a pout. I am sure it was unintentional but still was very sexy. I could not resist but kiss him. He was what I call a good reciprocate kisser. There was certain gentleness in his kisses and caress. Almost paternal tenderness. But then he was priest and most people called him “Father.”

“How old are you Jeffery?” I should have asked him this before.

“How old do you want me to be?” He always tried hard to be a tease.

“We are not in to role play. Are we?” My guess was he was around my age. He had some toned physique. He didn’t drive but cycled a lot. I guess he did lot of running too. He was fit and had some masculine flair about him.

“I am thirty seven.” He was whispering in my ears as he was trying to lick the nape of my neck. Warm breath waves created a gentle stimulation.

“You are old. I am only thirty one. Will be thirty two this October. Do I call you father then?” I was in the mood of tease both physically and mentally.

“No. You call me Jeff.” I guess he didn’t like the tease. The firmness in his voice could not be missed.

“So how was it growing up? You always wanted to be a priest?”

“You have not met Bruno. Let me call him.” Felt like he was trying to distract away from that talk.  Clearly he didn’t want to speak about him and his childhood.

Bruno was cute. Almost as well behaved as his master. The master was naughty in the bed though. He had softest bed with silkiest feeling sheets. They matched the tenderness of his touch.  He had what I call an art of touch. The way he caressed the body was almost magical. I almost used the word divine there. Let’s keep divinity separate from his closet life.

He taught lot of things. Lot of things I learnt from him. Attention to finer details, tastes for finer things in life, taking care of needs of one’s partner and so on. He took care of his partner’s needs in the bed very well. Made sure I was not in pain and made sure I had equal pleasure as him. Very few men before him and after him I encountered did that.

“So how long you’ve had your car for? And why is that you are driving Beetle? It is such a gay car” he would tease me.  “Why have you got these blonde streaks in your hair? You have got such a beautiful auburn hair.” He had made clear his reservations about my queer tastes.

“Do you think people know that I am gay?” I asked him innocently. As much as I wanted to come out I still had this fear of people exposing me out before I was ready.

“You drive Beetle and got blonde streaks in your hair? All you need is a Chihuahua.” He was laughing again. “You know what? You make me laugh”.

“I think eventually I will come out. I need to. It is hard. I have to tell my parents too.”

“Are you sure you really want to do that. I don’t think you should put them through that.”

“It will be easy for them when they know that I have a partner.”

“Do I have to speak their language?” He was laughing gain. “My future in-laws?”

Wasn’t he going too far too quickly? We have been chatting online for a week and this was only our second meeting. We both had mutual liking to each other and the sex is great. But talking about future together was bit premature I thought.

“As you guessed already we have to keep this a secret.” I looked in to his eyes as he said those words.

“Discretion assured” I said as I was cuddling him running my nails through the hair in his chest. As my fingers delicately drew circles around his nipples he pulled me closer to him and kissed me stroking my back.

“I think you seriously reconsider the decision of coming out. It is not important whether to come out or not. What is important is you finding someone who loves you.” He whispered.

It was like a spell. I loved that moment. I loved being in his arms. I loved his whispers. I loved each and everything that was between us. I didn’t want it to stop. He was all what anyone would ask for.

“I have got two tickets for the musical Beauty and the Beast. I know the manager of Empire and he got me the tickets. They are good seats. I want you to join me.” It sounded more like a command then asking me.

“Are you sure you want to me to be seen in public with you?”

“It’s just a musical at a theatre. I don’t think people coming to my church will be there. It will be like two friends going to the musical.”

“Ok. I shall.” I kissed him good bye as it was getting bright in the morning. I had to drive back to my place before peak hour traffic between the cities started.

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“You didn’t?” Sandra was astonished when I told her about my visit to Vicarage.

“I did. It felt nice.”

She had a smile and she squinted as if she was trying to figure out. I hated it when she was scrutinizing my deeds. Trying to gauge my morality I thought.

“Yes it felt nice. He is a God’s man. Serving him is like serving the God”

She burst in to laughter. We were working a night shift together. Night shifts are usually not maniac. Tends to get easier around early hours where we do get time to sit and chat.

“It doesn’t work that way.  But if that’s what makes you happy. So be it. But be careful hunn”

“I am always careful. It is a great sex. He is a great lover. He is taking me to the musical Beauty and the Beast at Empire.”

“Are you sure? I thought it was just sex. He wants to do other stuff with you too?” Sandra had her reasons of doubt.

“I don’t know Sandra. I really don’t know. I love being with him. I am not looking for anything serious. He wants discretion. Works both for us.”

“You need to think it again Su. It may not be all that what it seems. It is complicated. You will lose a lot here. He will too. Something doesn’t feel right. If you are asking me I would say finish it now.”

“No. It is exciting. I am discrete anyway.”

Sandra wanted to say something but went quiet when she saw charge nurse Janet walking.

“Hello Janet.” I greeted Janet. She was always kind to me.

“Hello Sunshine!” She always called me that. “Seeing you after long. You are glowing. Have you found someone?”

“No Janet. This Sandra is taken.” I laughed.

She giggled. “It doesn’t have to be woman you know!”  She winked and walked away.

Sandra was watching all this. “See. I told you. It is imminent. You need to come out soon. Tell them before they out you. If you are doing it then do it at your terms.”

Sandra had her case rested. I knew what she was trying to say. Somewhere even I agreed with her. But to cross that bridge I needed some support. Someone to show to the world. Someone worthwhile beside me who could convince the world and validate my choice.

Is Jeff that guy? That was what I not sure of.

My messaging and chatting online with Jeff continued. We discussed everything. Music, art, theatre, history books, philosophy and even religion. He was very passionate when he quoted the Bible. His depth of knowledge amused me and he himself intrigued me as a person.

We even started going out together. Occasionally dine out and see musicals in Manchester or Liverpool. We saw Beauty and the Beast first. It was fun watching musicals with him because he would talk about the history of the production and the actors like a true fanatic. We behaved like two friends on outing. I was surprised we were never spotted together by anyone we knew

Our encounters needed to be discrete which was fine by me. He would text me at 10 pm and I would jump in to my car and drive 40 miles just to spend a night with him. Even in the middle of working week. The nights were really worth the drive. The physical intimacy was divine. Can I use that word to describe it? Oh hell! I can. It was in every sense. That’s what happens when you like someone. The encounters just become divine.

He made a point to read more about Indian culture and Hinduism and would come with anecdotes to impress me.

“Did you know that the Tulsi Indian basil plant in the front yards of Indian homes signifies the mistress of the Lord? India is the only country which respects mistresses to the divinity for their devoted unconditional love” He told me one day.  

“Impressive Jeff…. Even I didn’t think it that way!” I said.

“This is what we call collision of the cultures.” He smiled.

“Only collision I know now is of our interests” I was teasing him.

“I know exactly what’s going to collide.” He whispered as he would slide himself in to my duvet and stroked my naked butt.

“By the by, I got tickets for Blood Brothers.” He whispered as he breathe in to my ears.

“I have watched it in Westend. It’s a sad musical.”

“No darling. You haven’t watched Blood Brothers if you have not watched it in Liverpool.”

Blood Brothers which is an iconic British musical written by a Liverpudlian Willy Russell set in Liverpool. Though it was also a westend phenomenon and had numerous international versions, it had certain cult classic status in North of England especially Liverpool. Sad story of twins separated at birth whose paths keep crossing only to end tragically.

“That’s very Bollywood. Seen it before.” I tried to dismiss his enthusiasm.

“It’s Liverpool. It’s scouse. You will enjoy it in Liverpool. Trust me it is an experience.” His eyes were convincing as he said that.

I must admit I actually enjoyed watching the musical Blood Brothers with him. The atmosphere was buzzing. Everyone in the audience had seen it multiple times before. They would reminisce how they performed it in school productions or studied it as a curriculum. Each one of the Liverpudlian had their own story about Blood Brothers. It touched them at different levels and yet it was huge part of their psyche and culture. Every year there would be a production of it in Liverpool. I never realised that it was such a big phenomenon it was untill I watched it with thousand plus audience full house in one of the biggest theatres of Europe.

Jeff always made sure we got best seats. He always pulled a favour from the theatre manager.  “Always watch a musical on sixth row from stage in the middle.” He would say.

When the climax scene and the tragedy happened on stage there was pin drop silence. I looked towards Jeff as he was squeezing my hand. I could not believe he was in tears. I gently squeezed back. That moment he looked at me and smiled. I saw lot of different feelings in his eyes. Gratitude, thankfulness, kindness and sadness. I am still trying to figure out what he wanted to say. I knew there was something he wanted to say. But crowded theatre was not the place for it I guess.

He was quiet through the car journey to his vicarage. I knew he was shaken. I thought he needed time as I could see clearly he was disturbed. I thought I should leave.

“Su! Will you stay with me tonight?”

“Of course I will. I thought you wanted time on your own tonight. You clearly are upset after the musical.”

“This may be tenth time I am watching this musical. Gets me every time. But it was special watching it with you tonight.”

That night we made love. It felt like we made love. It was something which I never experienced before. It didn’t feel carnal. It felt soulful.

I slipped out of the bed as the sun was rising and quietly dressed and drove back next day.

I was much shaken that day. What I experienced with Jeff left me shaken. The theatre, the tears, the look and the soulful physical intimacy.

I received a text message from him in the evening.

It read “Tu Migele Mogacho”

It shocked me. Not only did he went on to internet and got it translated in my mother tongue Konkani, also he said “I Love You”.

He said that he loved me in my native language.

Something in me then told me this is the beginning of something big in my life. Something which will change my life forever. My life was not going to be same again.